TALES FROM THE CLOSET - NEW YORK TIMES

You won't want to miss the cute story by Michelle Skatalla in the New York Times Style Section, May 14, 2009, about organizing her closet with a friend.

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/05/14/fashion/14spy.html?_r=1&ref=todayspaper

Let me be your friend!

Recently a client and I spent 2 hours "shopping" in her closet . . . she had many hidden treasures and it was easy to see that if she never bought another jacket in her life . . . she would be OK.

What I think:

Less REALLY IS MORE - when it comes to closets. Most of us (I am the exception) tend to wear the same couple of things every day - while the other items collect dust and mites. Not healthy!

We are'nt living in the 90's where we bought a garment and planned to wear it for the rest of our lives . . . color and fabrics are improved on year-to-year and (especially for those of us who work every day) comfort and ease (cleaning and wearing) are important.

On the other hand if you have treasures in your closet you aren't wearing - you need ME - I can re-work, re-make, re-energize those treasures.

www.suziewoodwardmorris.com

suzie@suziewoodwardmorris.net Email

WHAT KIND OF SHOE ARE YOU?

http://blogthings.com/whatkindofshoeareyouquiz/

This quiz is lots of fun!

It makes me think of the term, "if the shoe fits . . . wear it!"

In this time of stress for job hunters - I can think of another appropriate phrase . . . "pounding the pavement".

If I were offering advice (which is just what I do) - I'd say - if you're being interviewed by a man - choose heels . . . not flats. Even if your attire is casual!

Stay away from "Gladiator" styles even though they may be the trend in your neighborhood. (Unless you are job hunting on Haight Street -SF)

"Gladiators" are not what most "hiring squads" are looking for in today's "healing" economy.

To see other job hunting tips visit my website http://www.suziewoodwardmorris.com/ view "Job Hunting" page.

CALLING ALL "RECESSIONISTAS" - Are you HAUTE or NOT?

Fashionistas are soooooooooo "BULL MARKET" . . . now's the time to be a Recessionista. In order to do that you must know the difference between RTW (ready to wear) and Haute Couture.
Ready to Wear means "off the rack" "ready made"; Haute Couture is the French word for "high dressmaking" (which refers to exclusive custom-fitted fashions).

In order to be HAUTE during a recession you must "re-make" what's (OH SO YESTERDAY) into something (NEW AND EDGY). How? By reaching beyond those closed doors and doing a little bit of homework.

For fun suggestions go to my website: www.suziewoodwardmorris.com click on "Ways 2 B Haute"

STAND UP AND SHOUT! or . . . NOT!

USATODAY.com asks an interesting question: "Does Height Equal Power? Some CEOs Say 'Yes'"

"Le Gourmet Gift Basket CEO, Cynthia McKay wears 3-inch heels even though she's 5-foot-9 in bare feet. Why? For the same reason that 6-foot-3 Don Peebles, CEO of The Peebles Corporation, the nation's largest African-American owned real estate development company, puts his hand on the shoulders of shorter adversaries and crowds into their personal space when negotiating a key deal.

"It's to gain a 'subliminal sense of power.' Peebles says.

"Several studies indicate that taller men are more likely to be successful and that the advantage begins early. A 2005 study in Finland found that baby boys who were taller than average by their first birthday earned more (money and power) 50 years later.

"Corporate CEOs also tend to be taller, and those who aren't taller have a way of appearing so. Retired GE CEO, Jack Welch, at 5-foot-7, makes searing eye contact and will pull his chair around to sit close in one-on-one conversations. Harold Burson, Chairman and Architect of the largest public relations firm, Burson-Marsteller, says he is 5-foot-6, 'probably a little less now that I'm 86.' He says his theory is that short CEOs rise from within the company. 'Executive search firms tend to produce the 6-foot outsiders,' he says.

"'When we avert our eyes, or cower, or speak in meek, whispery tones, we don't instill feelings of trust and safety, ' says Jill Blashack Strahan, CEO of Tastefully simple.

"'Height, voice quality, stance . . .(are) not going to cut it without the substance,' says Linda Sawyer, CEO of Deutsch Advertising Agency. 'Survival of the fittest has become survival of the brightest.'

Is this a lot of bunk? I don't think so . . . in my 35 years of experience as an Image Manager, I've encouraged women to use the assets they have . . .high heels, jewelry, clothes that fit well and "trained" body language. Use your face, your eyes, your voice to project who you are and what you know. The symbols of femininity can be powerful. Don't discount them.

If you are short . . .learn to project . . .adjust your seat in board rooms to the same level as the tallest person in the room . . . if your seat doesn't adjust to that level . . .get a new one.'

The same advice is true for short men . . .only more so!

For men and women in powerful positions . . .sit at the center of the table . . .always face the door . . .use solid colors to compliment your status and put some "wind" behind your voice.

"Who's smartest, who can think fastest." That's today's game.

Lara Tiedens, an organizational behavior professor at the Stanford University Graduate School of Business, has written extensively about how executives achieve status. "People of status use an open stance and vigorous gestures, look directly at others, speak loudly in a deep voice, interrupt at will and lean in close or otherwise reduce the space of others and expand their own. What does all that audacity get them? Others see them as smarter, more competent and deserving of all their promotions."

Tiedens says "studies of gender and influence indicate that women invite backlash when they try to be verbally dominant. But there seems to be greater acceptance when displays of female dominance are non-verbal. She says that wearing heels makes sense, although she is unaware of any high-heel research outside the realm of podiatry.

If you are a tall woman and have slumped your shoulders and spine to accommodate the height of the man in your life . . .don't take it with you to the office . . .stand up straight . . . when you walk through the door to your office, a client's office or a competitor's office.

STAND UP AND SHOUT . . .why not!

Let me know how it turns out. . . right now I have to take my 3-inch heels off for a "power pedicure"!

TALKING FACES

In a recent New York Times article, Laurel Naversen Geraghty wrote, "I Am Not a Crab: When Wrinkles Lie" which was perfect for my week of 'facial' blogs.

"'I was looking at this little boy (in the grocery store),' Ms. Arlene Miller said, 'and he turned around to his mommy and he said, Mommy, why was that lady angry at me?' It really, really bothered me. I was a teacher, and to have a kid think that I was angry at him when I wasn't made me feel like two cents.'

"The boys reaction, Ms. Miller later theorized, may have been prompted by the 'furrows of my forehead the corners of my eyes, and some angular lines along the sides of my nose.'

"Nalini Ambady, a psychology professor at Tufts, said, 'In 40 milliseconds, people can accurately judge what we are saying with our expression.'

"But what if a face conveys thoughts or feelings that aren't really there? What if time etches lines that send skepticism, happiness or something else entirely -- that springs from the dermis rather than the heart?

"At any age, an expression can send unintended signals. 'The face is both a voluntary and an involuntary system,' said Paul Ekman, an emeritus professor of psychiatry at the University of California, San Francisco, 'so we may be wanting to convey a smile or a grin, but involuntarily our face may betray even within a smile itself that we're actually a little angry or a little sad or a little disgusted.'

"If lines, creases, sags or folds that mimic an emotion become fixtures on a face, 'we may incorrectly make the presumption that the person is having that emotion all the time,' said Dr. Ekman, the author of Emotions Revealed, and the director of a firm that consults on strengthening emotional skills.

"The effects may be profound, among them declining self-esteem, deteriorating professional performance, depression, anxiety or the disconcerting feeling that -- as Ms. Miller described it -- 'my outside didn't match my inside.'

"Nancy Etcoff, a clinical instructor in psychology at Harvard Medical School, the director of the Program in Aesthetics and Well Being at Massachusetts General Hospital, and the author of the book Survival of the Prettiest: The Science of Beauty said 'the image we project can influence our destiny.'

"'Tons of research shows there are a lot of advantages for people who are considered beautiful or attractive, everywhere from the boardroom to the bedroom,' Dr. Etcoff said, 'The same is true for people who tend to make positive expressions, because that suggests that you're personally happy, which is a very attractive feature in itself.'

"But even faces that are blank can influence others' opinions of you. A recent Tufts study found that individuals with the mask of Parkinsons's were perceived as less intelligent, socially savvy and trustworthy than other patients."

I know this information to be true. In my business as an Image Manager I've worked with men and women who've altered their faces with Botox and plastic surgery. Two particular people stand out in my mind; a male/female team who present Real Estate techniques for making money to mid-size audiences. The man had Botox and the woman had two rounds of plastic surgery (both were in their mid-sixties). As I reviewed their DVD, I noticed that their words didn't match their faces. I had a difficult time concentrating on their message and found I was scrolling backwards to listen more carefully to understand and interpret what they were saying. Ultimately, I decided not to take them as clients and advised them to take an improv acting class from a well known 'facial expression' teacher. The results were impressive.

Put your face in front of a video camera and talk to people you know well in a room. What is your face revealing? Does it match your message? Does your face smile when you are upset and angry . . .does your face frown when you are happy and excited? Do people respond to you in ways that don't make sense?

If you'd like an honest (and forthcoming) review of your 'facial' issues . . .send me your DVD.

In those famous words, "here's looking at you, kid." What are we seeing?

WHAT'S BEHIND YOUR FACE?

Your brain controls your face and (I believe) the way people respond to you.

Overheard just outside a dressing room at Marshall Field's in Chicago - in the 1970's: "Do I look too fat in this (stripe) dress?" My grandfather, who was waiting for me to purchase a coat, watched the scene (a young woman showing a dress to her husband) and said, "never ask a husband if you are fat . . . he'll believe it!"

I thought about that for a while then asked, "what should she have asked?"
"Does this dress make me look too sexy?"
"He'll believe that, too . . . and. . . with a more interesting outcome!"

For years I've watched women in dressing rooms look at themselves and frown or make unpleasant faces.
For years I've watched men outside of dressing rooms look at themselves and smile.

The difference is brain-trained self-esteem. Men have more of it (in my unscientific thirty years of research)!

Over the years I've learned that what you think . . .you believe. . . and (eventually) see.

Example: On a show I enjoy watching, "What Not To Wear," a young woman about 5'3" weighing about 105 pounds thought her bust was too large to wear t-shirts and cashmere sweaters. To the camera's eye (and mine) her bust was small. She believed her bust was too large and it was difficult to get her to embrace tight fitting clothes. It was clear that in her brain (and probably somewhere in her past history) she was told that she was too large in the bust for her small frame. She believed it even though it wasn't true.

You control what YOU think. . . AND. . . what those around you think . . .of YOU!

Fiction: I look fat in blazers.
Fact: Blazers are boxy and frequently don't fit women with curves.
Fact: Blazers are angular in their design. I am curvy. To fit a curvy shape into an angular shape means that creative adjustments are necessary.
Solution . . .shoulder pads added to (most) blazers allows the perfect amount of room for curves.
Language . . .Blazers look great on me!
Public Feedback . . ."You look great . . . where can I find a blazer like that!?"

Use your brain! Clothes do not lower your self-esteem . . .you do!

No garment tells my brain what I should think about my physical appearance.
No garment (or person) should tell your brain what you should think about your physical appearance, either!

Train your brain to understand your physical self more objectively.
I have narrow shoulders. Shoulder pads make it possible for me to wear angular designs!

Use your brain to train yourself and others to look and respond to you positively.
"This jacket fits perfectly, don't you think?"

Use language to reinforce what others see.
This jacket, dress, coat works great on women (like me) with my curves!

Walk out of every dressing room with a big smile on your face . . . and don't ask your husband, girlfriend, colleague, mother, father, sister, brother or sales clerk, "what do you think?" SHOW them what you think by using your brain first (objective thinking) and then your face (smile).
The response/s you will evoke . . ."you look amazing" . . .or . . ."that jacket looks amazing on you!"

If you need a little help training your brain to understand your physique a little better . . .don't hesitate to call on me!

What's behind your face? I hope it's LOVE.

FACIAL HEIR

You inherit your face!

Take a look at your family tree and search for relatives that have a face similar to your own. What do you see? What "secret" makeup tricks did those people use? How did they wear their hair.

I'm sure you've heard the comment: "Ugh! When I look in the mirror I see my mother looking back at me!"

Well that has certainly been true for me! Thank goodness! My mother was a beauty and knew how to take care of what she was given (great genes - inherited) up to and (almost) including the day she died.

Our faces weren't exactly alike . . .she didn't have my eyelids (they came from my father's side of the family tree). For example, mother loved the way I wore eye makeup and wanted her eyes to look "just like" mine. Of course, she tried it . . .in spite of the fact that I said "it won't work" . . . and little by little she understood the limitations of her "facial boundaries" and embraced her (lovely) differences.

Watching her grow older (with my eyes and ears fully open) helped me over the years. "Stay out of the sun." Advice she didn't follow . . .I did it . . .and it made a difference. "Don't wear powder - it'll dry your skin." I don't because it did on her! "Take a walk every day . . . it gives your skin a glow." "Fruits and vegetables are better than lots of meat and French fries!"

"God has given you one face," she would say as I longed to be tan without freckles, "take care of it!"

Use the organ just behind your face to listen and learn from those who looked a little bit like you in past generations - it's called a brain.

Make conscious choices to study the components of your face . . . review its boundaries . . . play with the dimensions using makeup. Have a good laugh . . .and maybe even a good cry.

Step One
Purchase the right mirror

Step Two
Put the mirror in a good light

Step Three
Look at your Face. . .love your face . . .embrace the way your face looks.

Step Four
Take a close-up photo (commonly referred to as a "before" photo)

Step Five
Email photos of you (and your ancestors) to me with questions: suzie@suziewoodwardmorris.com

I'll give you "Step Six" . . .

Remember you may be someone's facial heir . . . what will they learn from seeing you?