Image Therapy - Change Happens!

My hero, Albert Ellis, co-founder of cognitive therapy, died yesterday. He was a great hero of mine. Michael T. Kaufman's front page article, www.nytimes.com with the headline, "Provoker of Change In Psychotherapy," serves as an apt testimonial to the life of a man who stayed true to himself and his work.

It may sound odd to most people that an Image Maker like myself would admire a Psychotherapist like Albert Ellis. Image and Psychotherapy are closely connected (as I see it)! An Image Manager (and Psychotherapist) works daily with YOU and what YOU think about YOU. His patients, like my clients, want to be "changed" by something WE say or do when you're in our care. And, though you pay us well for our advice, the task of change rests with YOU.

The ability to EMBRACE who we are (internally and intentionally) is the outcome Albert Ellis (and I) want for those we serve. That process starts by reviewing our "selves". Your process will begin there, too! It is usual that "we" allow others to define us . . .it is unusual that "we" define ourselves. I believe (as I think Albert Ellis believed) that it is essential for us to be the "definers."

Clients contact me on a regular basis to help "change" them. That is above and beyond my power as an Image Manager. I can, however, provide a map that (if followed) will change a person's life in a matter of days . . .sometimes hours.

The real process of change begins with "recognition" of the self that exists on the inside of our physical selves. It doesn't take hours, weeks and years to discover WHO YOU ARE. Furthermore, you must pay some attention to what others say about you. "You're shy!" An observation made by those close to you may (in fact) ring true. You can embrace the fact that you are shy and (with direction) can DO something positive to manage that shyness. That management may even cause change to happen.

Michael Kaufman's recounting of Albert Ellis' painful "shyness" was a profound example of a person who learned to accept himslf (unconditionally) and "established new ways of being and behaving." Music to an Image Manager's ears!

"At the age of 19 Albert Ellis "managed" his shyness by "staking out a bench in a park near his home, determined to talk to every woman who sat there alone. 'In one month,' he said, 'he approached 130 women. Thirty walked away immediately, I talked with the other 100, for the first time in my life, no matter how anxious I was. Nobody vomited and ran away. Nobody called the cops.'"

A couple of months ago, I had a client who asked me to "change" her image from an aging retiree to a "hip" and "fit" boomer. Why? She had an interview for a new job. After a two hour image assessment, I told her "change" would happen in 4 steps. 1) Color/Cut her hair; 2) Eat Less 3)Move More 4) Shop for clothes that fit her shape. At first she complained and wanted to know my "Diet Secrets" . . . OK (I confess) I do have one: "Eat Less/Weigh Less." That didn't satisfy her. She "whined" on and on about how she gets hungry at the end of the day and is too tired to exercise after work. I listened carefully. When her "whining" got to proper venting, I gave her a specific strategy that would take her from a "whining, gray-haired, frumpy, over-the-hill woman" to a woman with a new job who turns heads because of the way she "looks" and "thinks". The time period was 30 days.

Are you 30 days away from the Image you want? Are you in weekly therapy to "deal" with your Image issues? Take what I've learned from Albert Ellis -- embrace yourself, change your thinking, have a plan and move forward with your life's mission . . . don't waste your time (and life) "dealing" with something that you (with a little help from me) can fix in 30 days (or less).

For more information about my Image Management services go to: http://www.suziewoodwardmorris.com/